I agree: “Lust is easy, love is hard.” However, “Casual sex is ruining relationships and hurting our society” is a stretch. Yes, committing to someone for a lifetime takes more patience than waiting in line at the pharmacy. And I respect ‘waiters.’ Heck, I applaud anyone who thinks before they fuck. However, I will not be told by my neighbourhood newspaper that I’m more likely to cheat on my wife because we made love before we tied the knot. Or at least not without some serious data to back up your charges.

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You actually have two virginities. Everyone knows about the first one, the sweet one. In fact, that is is called “busting your cherry” because it is so very sweet. For the most part you have sex with a high school beau you’ve known for some time and it’s a happy, if somewhat awkward experience. And even if it goes badly, you know, you work on it and it all works out (maybe not completely, but close enough, hopefully some of the time, at least on anniversaries or when one of you goes away for a couple of weeks and then comes back).

The second virginity is not talked about so much, for a reason. Because the second virginity you do indeed bust something, but it’s not anywhere near as sweet as a cherry (no, it’s not your ass virginity, you eager beavers you). The second virginity is the first time you have sex with someone you don’t know all that well. Some people lose them both at the same time, but that’s just unfortunate. You understand the two when you have them at different times. The second virginity is as physically awkward as the first, but without the satisfaction or lifelong happiness associated with the first.

It’s still a landmark, but it’s the kind of landmark they have in Russia, you know, a scorched earth style of landmark.

Read the rest of Andrew Battershill’s message or learn of the legendary “Musical Prostitute of Haifa” in The Moose & Pussy #5: The sexless marriage & other things grotesque.  Order a copy or download it.

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dseuss asked: I want to submit some poems but the submission page is not coming up. Any hints? Diane

Hi Diane, must’ve just been a glitch. It’s working fine for me. If you can’t see it, here are the instructions:

 

Submit to the Moose & Pussy - that sounds a little naughty, doesn’t it?

Well guess what? We need your sex. We are looking to publish any good sex you can put to paper, such as:

Erotica, Humour, Visual Art, Poetry, Sexual Politics, Pictures of Your Girlfriend, Handy How-To Diagrams, Limericks, Naughty Woodcuts, Horror Stories, Bedtime Stories, Places to Love on Campus, Toy Reviews, Unlicensed Medical Advice, Arts & Crafts, and good ole fashioned gloating.

Particulars

Written submissions — Limit yourself to 2000 words.

Attach pieces in individual documents in the following format: 
Microsoft Word 2003/2004 or earlier (.doc NOT .docx) or Rich Text (.rtf).

Double spaced (fiction), single spaced (poetry). 

Times New Roman or Courier, 12 point.

Named according to the following convention: lastname_firstname_title.extension (e.g. Hanson-Finger_Jeremy_Baltimore.doc).

Visual art — Please use the highest resolution you can (300dpi minimum). The magazine is 8” wide by 10.5” high and in colour.

Please, no simultaneous submissions.

Previously published works will be considered but please note all previous publications so we can give appropriate props.

Responses

[NEW] We will respond to all submissions within one month of the deadline. Acceptances get personal emails; rejections get form emails. We’d love to be able to offer personalized responses to everyone who submits, but it’s not something we can afford to do right now. 

Email your work to submissions@themooseandpussy.com

Please put your name, the title of your piece, and whether it’s poetry, fiction or art in the subject line of your email. (all published contributors receive a free copy of The Moose & Pussy)